First Day of School: Grey's Anatomy Style

Didn't sleep much. Get up before alarm goes off. Eat breakfast. Take shower. Get ready to leave.

Arrive at school. Check email. Check mailbox. Get classroom ready. Give yourself a pep talk.

Stand at door. Watch freshmen walk around lost. Feel sorry for them and help them out. Remember what it was like to be a freshman.

Watch upperclassmen run when the hear the tardy bell ring.

Greet students. Take roll. Introduce myself. Ask what they've heard from other students about the course. Reassure them that all the rumors are true.

Except the one about this class being easy.

Discuss classroom rules and procedures. 

Distribute three-page course syllabus. Wait for it...

Distribute homework list for the semester. Wait for it...

Then a kid raises their hand...

"You mean to tell me we have homework every night?"

"And we actually have to read our textbook?"

Yep. Welcome to junior year. And they all look at me like...

Promise that it won't be as bad as they think it will be. That these are things they will be required to do when they get to college. And that no amount of whining will change it.

Decide it will be fun to play a "get to know you" game. Some kid makes a snippy remark. It's decided...

A kid from last year stops by to say hi. Wants to tell you all about their summer and how bummed they are that they didn't pass their AP exam.

Is it time for lunch yet? No? Okay. Quick snack?

Another bell. Another class. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Tell students I graduated from UCF. Some kid decides to challenge me and says that [insert any other Florida college] is better.

Forgot to drop off copies in front office. Ask if a student wants to run an errand.

Another kid thinks they can hide their cell phone under their desk and text a buddy - after being asked to put it away twice before. 

Congratulations. My phone now. Pick it up at the end of the day.

Lunch time! Quick! Scarf down food so there is time to check a few more things off my to-do list.

One more class period to go!

Finally, 3:30 rolls around. You watch as students head to the bus loop. Back inside. Clean up desk. Lay out stuff for tomorrow. Turn everything off. Head home.

Too bad I don't drink....

Things My Students Day: Death

So you can imagine, as a teacher, I hear all sorts of random and crazy things coming out of the mouths of teenage students on a pretty regular basis. Usually, I just laugh and move on. But sometimes, the things that they say are so funny that I have to stop and write it down so I can share it. And even though school is out for the summer, I've had a few of these in my draft folder waiting to be shared. I wish I was making this stuff up....

Student #1: What did President Polk die from?

Student #2: Death.

Student #3: He got ran over by a reindeer.

Student #4: He went on the Oregon Trail and died from dysentery.

Things My Students Say: Awkward Ride

So you can imagine, as a teacher, I hear all sorts of random and crazy things coming out of the mouths of teenage students on a pretty regular basis. Usually, I just laugh and move on. But sometimes, the things they say are so funny that I have to stop and write it down so I can share it. And even though school is out for the summer, I've had a few of these in my draft folder waiting to be shared. I wish I was making this stuff up....

Student #1: What would happen if you jumped off the Empire State building naked?
Student #2: Well, that would be an awkward elevator ride up....

I guess they assumed that they would be naked during the elevator ride???

Things My Students Say: Women

So you can imagine, as a teacher, I hear all sorts of random and crazy things coming out of the mouths of teenage students on a pretty regular basis. Usually, I just laugh and move on. But sometimes, the things they say are so funny that I have to stop and write it down so I can share it. And even though school is out for the summer, I've had a few of these in my draft folder waiting to be shared. I wish I was making this stuff up....

Me: What did you guys think of the chapter?

Student: You know what this chapter taught me?

Me: What's that?

Student: That women complain a lot!

Things My Students Say: Transparent Eyeball

So you can imagine, as a teacher, I hear all sorts of random and crazy things coming out of the mouths of teenage students on a pretty regular basis. Usually, I just laugh and move on. But sometimes, the things that they say are so funny that I have to stop and write it down so I can share it. I wish I was making this stuff up....

I projected the image above onto the screen and ask the students what it is. Of course, if they had completed their reading the night before, this would be an easy question. But we all know how that goes...

Me: What do we call this?

Student #1: Creepy!

Student #2: Grasshopper eyeball with chicken feathers for a tail.

Student #3: Weird!

Student #4: Won't you just tell us?

A couple of the classes got the answer right away. This particular class must have missed the homework memo. 

Biting Babies

So the other day we were hanging out with our nephew....

On the way back from our miniature golf adventures, our conversation turned to the topic of his mother and her relationship status. Basically it went like this:

Mother: T said the other day that the divorce needed to hurry up so mommy can get remarried and have another baby.

Danny to T: Do you want a baby brother?

T: No. A sister.

Danny: Why not a brother?

T: They bite!

I think someone has learned a thing or two from his uncles!

Things My Students Say: Ponce de Leon

So you can imagine, as a teacher, I hear all sorts of random and crazy things coming out of the mouths of teenage students on a pretty regular basis. Usually, I just laugh and move on. But sometimes, the things they say are so funny that I have to stop and write it down so I can share it. I wish I was making this stuff up....

Student #1: Wait! Ponce de Leon is Spanish?
Student #2: Uh, yeah. What did you think he was?
Student #1: I thought he was French! His name sounds French!

And just because I couldn't resist....

Friday Favorites

Every Most weeks I share things from around the internet that put a smile on my face in the hopes that they will put a smile on your face too. So, without further ado....

today is my brother-in-law's birthday, so I posted this on his Facebook timeline

this guy's recreating weird internet photos with his friends at a party

this elementary teacher's contingency plan if she has a heart attack during class

a list of 21 things that inevitably happen when you work in an office

(I told my sister she had to do #15 the next time her coworker takes a day off)

the smiles on this couple's face holding their twin babies is contagious

this DIY wood rack makes me want our own home with a backyard....like yesterday

Things My Students Say: Broken Dreams

So you can imagine, as a teacher, I hear all sorts of random and crazy things coming out of the mouths of teenage students on a pretty regular basis. Usually, I just laugh and move on. But sometimes, the things they say are so funny that I have to stop and write it down so I can share it. I wish I was making this stuff up....

It's been a while since I've posted any sort of "real" content on this blog. This is our last week before the end of the semester and Christmas Break, so I've been swamped with papers to grade and students freaking out about their grades.....

Anyways, I thought I'd share a conversation that happened last Friday in my Advanced Placement class. My AP students take their tests online using their school-issued iPads. Fancy, huh? Well, each test is password protected and my kids like to guess what the password is. The hint for Friday's password was a thing within the classroom.

"Computer?"          "Nope."

"Map?"                  "Nope."

"Desk?"                 "Nope."

Then.....

"Broken dreams?"  

................

Yes. Apparently, my classroom is filled with the broken dreams of Advanced Placement students.

They joys of working with sarcastic teenagers....

Friday Favorites

Every week I share things from around the internet that put a smile on my face in the hopes that they will put a smile on your face too. So, without further ado...

sent this to my husband and told him I was glad we didn't have this problem...

an interesting perspective on the "nations" of North America

staying with geography, this is what happens when you ask people to draw a map of the United States from memory

ain't that the truth?

this sweet and heartfelt thank you

a discussion about transition of women staying at home to being in the workplace

what happens when you ask adults to sit in a ball pit

Haunted Halloween

Since we don't have children yet, I don't have any photos of cute kids in even cuter costumes to share. Since our cats can't stand for anything to be on their bodies, I don't have photos of them in cute outfits either. Since we live in an apartment complex that doesn't allow traditional trick-or-treating, I didn't bother to decorate our front door or make any sort of effort to get into the spirit of Halloween. 

So what do I have? I have this hilariously funny video that I wanted to share with you. If you haven't seen this yet, it's a must watch. Seriously. It will make your cheeks hurt from laughing so hard.

Happy Halloween!

Friday Favorites

Every week I share things from around the internet that put a smile on my face in the hopes that they will put a smile on your face too. So, without further ado...

what old people do for fun

what if politicians aren't the problem?

brides throwing cats

if Disney princesses went to high school

this adorable jelly fish costume

33 teachers who got the last laugh

sad cat diary: "i will sing the song of my people"

Things My Students Say: Wrong Answer

So you can imagine, as a teacher, I hear all sorts of random and crazy things coming out of the mouths of teenage students on a pretty regular basis. Usually, I just laugh and move on. But sometimes, the things they say are so funny that I have to stop and write it down so I can share it. I wish I was making this stuff up....

After having the class read and answer a few questions about an article...

"When reading I haven't really come across any biases feeling or words in the article, but then I really wasn't looking to see if there is biases in it."

So, in other words, you didn't answer the question.

Things My Students Say: Headache

So you can imagine, as a teacher, I hear all sorts of random and crazy things coming out of the mouths of teenage students on a pretty regular basis. Usually, I just laugh and move on. But sometimes, the things they say are so funny that I have to stop and write it down so I can share it. I wish I was making this stuff up....

Student: [walking into class] "I'm going to get a headache today in this class."
Me: "What makes you think that?"
Student: [while pointing to both temples] "Because when I think, I have this sharp pain that goes through my brain."

While holding back laughter, I told her she probably shouldn't say that aloud again....

Wet Money

So, I'm sitting down last night trying to get things ready for school. Of course I'm looking for any distraction to keep me from the task at hand. But, the Hubby was pretty adament about me getting stuff done so that I could make it to bed at a decent hour. Being the obedient wife that I am, I told Dan that there was clothes in the washing machine that needed to be put in the dryer that I couldn't possibly do with so much school work that needed to be done.

 

Couple minutes later, I'm being asked if I've been looking for $16.37. What? Again, he repeats the amount and says that it was in the washing machine.

 

Now, first of all, I don't normally carry cash. I make a point not too. It's easier that way when my students ask to borrow money for lunch. No joke.

 

So I'm sitting there racking my brain as to (1) why I would have had cash in a pant pocket, (2) when the last time I actually bought something with cash and (3) how that purchase would have amounted to $3.63.

 

Then it hits me! My stepdad gave me a twenty to buy milk and aluminum foil while we were in town for Thanksgiving. (Got to love those last minute items!) I guess I forgot to give them back the change. So, I snapped a picture of the money with my phone and sent it to my mom.

 

 

And this conversation happened...

 

Me: Look what we found in the washer! Lol. Took us forever to figure out what we spent $3.63 on...then I remembered Paul gave us money to get that gallon of milk. So we owe you some soggy bills :)

Mom: Please dry and iron first

Me: I don't iron. I'd be happy to throw them in the dryer though :)

Mom: Lol I forgot

 

 

Yep. That's my mom.

 

I should preface that I really don't iron if I can get away with it. If anything is wrinkled, I simply through it in the dryer. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. But, my clothes are nice and toasty which is always a plus in the winter time.

 

There was no real point in sharing this story except that I found it really funny and thought that others would find it funny too. We all need a little laugh on the Monday following a holiday break. At least I know I do!