Challenge Accepted?

So.... Let me fill you in on the craziness that has been happening since school started.

First of all, our school district got a new electronic system for everything. Attendance. Scheduling. Gradebook. PTO. Payroll. All that jazz. The best part about it, though? No one knows how to use it. Seriously. I wish I was joking. They've held "trainings" for the new system, but the "trainers" know just as little about the program as the rest of us because sat through "trainings" where they were taught nothing of significance.

Besides that, students have been in and out of my class for the past week while add/drop happens. Yep. I teach at a high school, but we still have add/drop as though it were a college. I've never seen so many kids complain about their schedule before becoming a teacher. I mean, when I was a student, I never in a million years thought, "Hmm, I don't like this teacher, let me switch." Or, "Hey, I need to change my schedule so I can eat with my boyfriend, or else I will die." I never knew I had the option of changing my schedule when I was in high school. Maybe, once we've all learned this new system, we can get scheduling done way early in the summer, send schedules out to students 2 weeks before school starts, and tell them they have the remainder of summer to fix whatever they don't like about their schedules. If they don't make the effort over summer to change things, then it wasn't that important to them to begin with.

I know. Wishful thinking....

But, the kicker to all of this is that I've been assigned a new course/prep. Not at the end of last school year. Not in the middle of summer. Not the week before school starts. But a week after school starts. Yep. And to top it off, its an AP course. In a content area I've never taught before!

Of all the social studies class, World has always been my least favorite. Probably because I had crappy World History teachers growing up, and I just never learned to love it. I've been spoiled these past 5 years with having nothing but US History. I'm going from teaching about 500 years of history to over 5000!

So, if you can imagine, when I found out Tuesday that all of this was happening, I entered into panic mode. My department head started looking up online resources for me, and the other teacher who teaches WHAP on campus gave me all of his files/resources. So I've had help. I seriously don't even want to think about what it would be like without their help. But it's still overwhelming. I feel like I'm a first-year teacher all over again....

But, you know what? I can do this.

I meet my little sophomores this morning. I hope they're up for the challenge too!

One More Thing

We thought that after the water heater was fixed it was going to be smooth sailing to closing on our first house. Yeah. That was wishful thinking... Should have known better.

I got a call from the Hubby while I was out of town confirming what we hoped we wouldn't have to do. 

You see that lovely truck? Want to guess what's inside that tank? Gross, right?

Our lender insisted that we have a septic inspection done before moving forward with the loan process. But, you can't really have a septic inspection without first having the tank pumped. So, another early morning and $200 later, our first home now has an empty septic tank and a little piece of paper stating that it's safe. Or functioning. Or not ancient. Or whatever it is that the lender specifically wanted to know about the thing that holds every bit of waste that comes out of our house.

Even though it kind of sucked having to shell out more cash, and it delayed closing more, there were some positives that came out of this.

First of all, I think we officially have a plumbing company that we can rely on and trust. We called them for both the water heater fix and the septic inspection, and were really happy with their customer service. Both of the guys who came out really knew their stuff and even told us what things to look out for in the future that would indicate something going wrong.

We also know that we need to keep an eye out on how efficiently our plumbing works during the rainy season. When the tech opened the tank, there was a lot of water. Obviously there should be some water. But, considering there was absolutely no smell coming from the tank because there was so much water between the surface and the smelly stuff, that's a lot of water. The current owners had a new drainage field put in less than 2 years ago, so even though it should be fine, it's something the tech advised us to keep an eye on. We're super grateful to have a heads-up on potential problems rather than being surprised by them later. (Truthfully, we think it was caused by the amount of laundry a family with 3 young kids does on a weekly basis.)

Also, the neighborhood we're moving too has trash service! Growing up in the suburbs, I never really realized how many people have to take their trash to the dump rather than simply dragging a trash can to the end of a driveway. Guess I took it for granted. Living in a more rural area means garbage trucks can become a luxury. So seeing everyone with their trashcans on the side of the road that morning made me happy. #itsthelittlethings

Oh, and now we know that our three surrounding neighbors are all elderly and retired. Nothing like having strangers your future neighbors watching from a distance, wondering who this young couple was standing around watching the septic tank get pumped in the back yard.

The septic inspection was the last thing our underwriter requested, so once we get final approval from them, all of our paperwork will be sent off to its final destination. One step closer, and yet still so far away. We're told that USDA (who we're getting our loan through) is backed up on requests, so it could be a few weeks(!!) before we hear anything back from them.

So that's where we are currently with the whole house situation. And since I can't leave you with just a picture of a truck with a tank full of crap, I thought I'd leave you with this gem:

Happy Friday y'all!

Another Speed Bump

Frustrated. Annoyed. Irritated. 

These are the emotions we've been dealing with this past weekend. 

We put an offer in on a house, that we're hoping will be our first home, back in March. March! And it seems like every little thing that can go wrong, has. No, we haven't lost the house, but there has been yet another set back.

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When we first put in our offer, we naively thought that we'd be able to move at the beginning of summer. Being a teacher, that would have been ideal. I could have had weeks to work on little projects around the house without having to worry about work. But, the more we learned about the home buying process, the more we realized that was a pipe dream.

Once the sellers were all done with their bank, and the ball was finally in our court, we were told by our banker that there wasn't any reason why we couldn't be moved in before school started. We had already been pre-qualified once before (which is different than just being pre-approved), so it was just a matter of resubmitting our financial information. We were making more money, had more money in savings, and were asking for considerably less than we had previously been told we qualified for. What could go wrong?

Well, that was over a month ago, and since then we've hit more speed bumps than we'd like. The home inspection went fine, but there was a minor fix that needed to be done to apply for home owners insurance. A minor fix that would have cost us less than $10 to do. But, since the report had been submitted, now required a "professional" to do it. Which means it turned into a $87 fix...

And the appraisal came back. We thought it was fine. However, the appraiser decided to include comments about their opinion of the house without checking the facts first, so it has added a whole bunch of stuff to our checklist. Most of these things have had to wait on the sellers' agent to provide answers/documentation, so it's all stuff that is currently out of our control.

We finally got a hold of our banker Friday and asked for an update. She said she still couldn't provide us with a closing date and that we'd be lucky if we could move in the next month. So much for moving in before school.... Now it's looking like we'll be lucky if we can move in before Labor Day.

We know everything will happen when it's suppose to happen. That we've got to trust there's a greater reason why we haven't been able to move yet. But it's still frustrating. 

Busy Waiting

Its seems like that's all that has been happening around here lately.

Waiting.

We put an offer in on a house about 3 weeks ago. We went back and forth. Then, we walked away. The sellers asked us to reconsider. We resubmitted the same offer. Now, we're waiting on their bank. 

To say we're frustrated is a bit of an understatement. We knew the home buying process would have its challenges. But I guess we didn't expect it so early on in the process. 

In the mean time, while we're waiting, we've been trying to keep busy.

Busy hitting up yard sales.

Busy hanging out with friends and entertaining little ones.

Busy chaperoning prom.

Busy kayaking.

Busy eating out.

Busy riding trains and helping parents with Easter egg hunts.

Busy playing sports with the nephew.

Busy being a teacher.

Even though we've done pretty well at remaining busy, we're still pretty anxious to get to the next step of the home buying process. We're cautiously optimistic. 

Two Week Notice

Dan and I have been talking a lot lately about our future and what the next couple of years will look like for us. When do we want kids? Soon. When do we want to start looking for a house? Soon. Where do we want that house to be? Depends on where we are working. Are we happy where we are currently working? No. Well, I'm happy. Dan, not so much.

Dan has been working at the same place for 5 years now. He took a little hiatus for a couple weeks to test out his firefighting skills, but when that fell through, his boss graciously hired him back on. Since then, the practice was bought out by a local, big name hospital and things have gone down hill. Before, he had the opportunity to advance within the practice. Now, because he doesn't have a college degree, the hospital won't even look twice at his resume and consider him for a supervisory or managerial position. So, basically, he's reached the proverbial glass ceiling.  At 25 years old being told that you can't advance any further, you have no chance of a pay increase (with the exception of cost of living raises, which still aren't guaranteed), and you aren't as important to this organization as you were before you left to pursue your dream.....well, it sucks.

So Dan has been looking for jobs closer to home. Right now he drives two hours to get to work and two hours back. No fun when you hate your job. But he's had no luck in finding anything closer - he's only had one interview. The only light we're seeing at the end of the tunnel is the fact that he's volunteering with a local EMS company and they're willing to help him sharpen his skills. Considering its been at least 3 years since Dan originally got his EMT licensing, his skills are a little rusty.

It's because of this light at the end of the tunnel, that we've decided to take a big leap.... After talking it over (and over and over) and crunching numbers (over and over), we've decided to become a one-income household. Dan officially put in his two week notice on Thursday, so now I can freely talk about our plans and post them online without the fear of his job somehow finding out.

Every new hire at the EMS company goes through a six week new hire course. Being a volunteer, Dan isn't required to go through the entire six weeks at once - there would be no way since the company won't pay volunteers to do that. But, he's encouraged to work his way through the course as he can. But, if Dan can get the entire six week course done, he's as qualified as a new hire and could potentially get hired on the minute they have a new position open. He's gotten the first week of the course completed, and was trying to figure out how to do the rest over the weekends. Turns out they're starting a new course the first week of June.

So, Dan came up with the crazy idea to quit his full time job and basically work for the EMS company for free and get this course done. I'm trying to look at it like my teaching internship - you're going to put in a lot of time to a company, busting your butt to learn the ins and outs of the profession, and you're going to do it all at no cost to them. To say I was hesitant is an understatement. Having only one income to rely on is scary. Having to do so over the summer when I'm not getting steady paychecks is even scarier. But, Dan has faith that it'll all work out, and I have to have faith in his decision.

To say I'm not worried would be a lie. But I will say that I'm proud of Dan for taking such a big leap and putting in all the hard work that he has to achieve his goal. Fingers crossed that by the end of the summer I'll be writing another update post saying that all this hard work has paid off and Dan is officially a full-time EMT.

Monday Blues

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Normally Mondays don't bother me. Sure, I hate waking up early on Mondays. But once I'm up and moving, I'm good to go. I always pick on my students about how tired/worn out/sleepy they are on Mondays. Mondays don't phase me.

Except today. Today I am beyond tired. I felt like I was on stage all day in my classroom. My throat is sore from talking so much. I really need to work on creating more "discovery" lessons so I don't have to do all of the information loading... Anyways, today has just been one of those days, you know?

I feel like I've got a headache coming on. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I tried to wear my hair all down & cute with a headband. But still, I hate starting off the week with a headache. Because usually headaches turn into migraines. And then I'm down for the rest of the night.

Not to mention my body is sore. And I have no idea why. It's like someone decided to use my legs as punching bags last night. Maybe I can convince the hubby to give me a massage?? Yeah, right. It's Monday - he's been moving boxes all day. His body is probably worse off than mine right now.

I hate to sound like such a Debbie Downer. But today has really gotten to me. When I came across that image on Pinterest I thought it described what I'm feeling/thinking perfectly and I wanted to share. (sorry, I wish I had the original source to the image above, but whoever pinned it before me didn't link to it....one of my pet peeves...)

See, tomorrow, Tuesday, is our first anniversary. So I'm definitely looking forward to a dinner date tomorrow night with the hubby.

And then Friday.... well, let's just say it has turned into a movie day in the classroom thanks to a lovely half-day meeting that I was just made aware of 2 hours ago. And then, a week long vacation! I cannot wait for the mental break from school. I just wish Dan were off all week too. I guess that's what happens when teachers marry people who aren't teachers, huh?

Anyways. I'm not really sure what the point of this post is except to share a quote that really rang true for me today.

Anyone else out there having a crummy Monday? Or maybe you're looking forward to the Thanksgiving holidays as much as I am?

Friday's Letters

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Dear city police officer, why yes, you have my permission to search my apartment. Especially once you tell me that a 14 year old girl has been kidnapped and you're looking for her. Who wouldn't let you in? Dear 14 year old girl, I am so sorry that you went through what you did. And I'm sorry for thinking that perhaps you were just mad at your parents and had run away to a friends house for the night. Dear kidnapper, I hope they find you. Soon. People like you don't deserve to be a part of this society. People who do the things you do deserve to rot. Dear students, today we had our second "coming to Jesus" moment of the year. I don't like these moments. I'm seriously at a loss for what else to do to help you. I can only do so much. At some point you have to pull your own weight and take responsibility for your grades/knowledge/future. Dear parents of said students, please don't call me into a parent-teacher conference at the last minute and ask my why your student's grade is so low. At this point, the grade won't change much. There is an electronic grade book for both you and your student to monitor. You can't tell me you didn't see this one coming. Dear students, no. There is nothing you can do to "bring your grade up." I'm not going to give you extra work when you didn't do your actual work in the first place. Besides, why would I give myself more stuff to grade when my pile is already out of control? And no, you can't make up the work that you didn't turn in or the work that you missed when you were absent 3 weeks ago. It's too late. Take responsibility. Stop making excuses. Buck up sissy pants. Dear readers, I'm sorry for my teacher rant. I shouldn't take it out on you. But sometimes venting is necessary. Dear Hubby, I am so happy that we are getting out the apartment tonight. I'm hoping it'll take my mind off of work. I'm looking forward to spending this weekend together.

Linking up:

Standardized Fog

I'm in my "end of the year fog." Yes, I know it's only May and it's not technically the end of the calendar year. But, with May comes the end of the school year. The last couple of weeks I've just felt, well, blah, about school. I don't want to crawl out of bed in the morning. I don't really think about what outfit I'm wearing. I don't care what my hair looks like. Right now it just feels like I'm going through the motions.

I remember feeling like this last year, but for some reason, this year feels worse. I think it's because of the overabundance of testing this year. With every state/national standardized test that is completed, the students feel like they are one step closer to summer vacation. And the closer they get to that day, the less motivated they are to do any work. And I feel like their lack of motivation rubs off on me. Why should I put in the effort if they won't give any effort in return? It's seriously like pulling teeth these past couple weeks.

Florida has begun implementing a new way of testing students at the end of the year. In the past, students would take a standardized test known as the FCAT that assesses students on Math & Reading in their 10th grade year. Students were required to pass this test in order to graduate. If they didn't pass it their sophomore year, they could retake it up to (I believe) 4 more times and attempt to earn a passing score. My biggest complaint was that it would test on topics that some students wouldn't be exposed to. For instance, if a student was in remedial math, they would take Algebra I for two years, then take Geometry for a year, followed by another math course their senior year. However, the FCAT would test on Algebra II and even some basic Trigonometry, which those kids wouldn't have been exposed to. It's basically like setting them up for failure. Although they have eliminated the math portion of the FCAT, students are still required to complete the Reading portion of the test so that we can track student progress. That, and it holds us accountable to the No Child Left Behind standards.

Now, students have to take an End Of Course (EOC) exam for certain courses that are required for graduation. These exams are all computer-based now (supposedly to speed up the reporting of results). I actually like the idea of EOCS - testing students on information they learned that year makes a lot more sense than testing them on stuff they learned in previous years, or even on stuff they haven't learned yet. The downside to all of these exams though is that it takes an entire week at our school to test one subject area. And there are 4 subject areas currently using the EOCs: Algebra I, Geometry, Biology, and US History. Another downside is the fact that our school only has 100 computers on campus that can be used for these exams. Meaning, we can only test 100 students at a time (hence why it takes a week to test each subject area). Luckily, our school is relatively small. I can't even imagine what the larger schools are having to go through to get all of the kids processed.

Besides all the time and effort it takes to test all of these kids, probably the worst thing about all of it is when they are requiring to test the kids. Our last day of school is May 25th; other counties in the state finish a week or two behind us. Our first EOC was administered on  April 30th. As I mentioned before, once those kids are down with the test, it's like pulling teeth to get them to do anything. You're talking about a month of time where kids are unmotivated. Not only that, these are suppose to be end of course exams. Well, when you're on a semester block schedule, and you didn't get your kids until January, you're forced to condense all of your course's material into a much shorter time period. I don't see how this can truly be an end of course exam if the course hasn't even ended yet. I think they're trying to turn this into something more like New York's Reagents exams (of which I know very little about). But if I'm not mistaken, those kids come back after school has ended to take their exams. It just doesn't seem fair to the students, or the teachers, to force them to learn/teach all of the required standards in an even shorter amount of time.

Our school has been in testing mode since the middle of April. It started with the Reading FCAT for 9th and 10th graders - that took about a week. Our schedules were totally changed that week - I lost about 6 hours over the course of FCAT testing with my 2nd period students. Then, EOCs started which last for 4 weeks. Oh, and we can't forget the AP testing that's been going on this past week (my juniors are actually taking their exam now as I'm typing this). We still have County Assessment testing and Senior Exams next week, then Final Exams for all of the underclass the last week of May.

I know this is a new process. I know it takes a little while couple years to work out all of the kinks. But, literally, I'm burned out. I'm tired. I have zero motivation. I'm counting down the days until summer vacation right along with my students. And I'm sorry for venting. I know this is temporary, but this month just feels like its dragging.

Teacher Workday

I love teacher workdays. Especially when I don't have to go to some sort of professional development. I get 8 uninterrupted hours alone in my classroom to get caught up on my ever-growing pile of work.

Today was a teacher workday. Our school was a ghost town. Pretty much everyone in my building was at one of those professional development workshops, so my building was really quiet! One of my neighboring teachers was there, but we both had plenty to work on, so we didn't waste each other's time with a lot of chit chatting. And half the people in my department (as odd as it sounds, I somehow ended up as the only social studies teacher in the math building; our department is a little spread out across the back part of our campus; we don't have a designated building like most of the other departments do) were also gone.

I showed up at school a little before 8 a.m. and by 11 a.m., this is what my desk looked like:

The pile of papers on the right is what I had graded in the first 3 hours of the day. I'll let you guess what the pile on the left is... Yep, that's the pile that I still needed to grade. But that's not entirely accurate either. You see, I have this little black bag...

I use this bag to transport papers and notebooks back and forth between my classroom and the apartment. Luckily it wasn't that bad when I looked inside of it. Only the loose-leaf stuff had to be graded. So this is a more accurate depiction of what my day was going to consist of.

I left campus around noon to grab a quick drive-thru lunch and pick up a few items that we needed from Wal-Mart. By 2:30, this was how my pile was looking.

And that's pretty much how it stayed until it was time to leave. By 2:30, I was sick of grading papers. I was sick of correcting mistakes. I was sick of sitting hunched over at a desk. For the last hour of the day I straightened things up around my room and started getting some things in order for next week.

When I look at the pile on the right, I feel like I made a ton of progress today. But when I look at the pile on the left, I get discourage and realized I didn't make enough progress. My AP course is kicking my butt again this year. But the kiddos are testing in 2 weeks and school is over in less than a month, so this chaos will be ending soon. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel... looking forward to a relaxing summer.

Waiting for the Dust to Settle

Warning: This post is pretty lengthy. It's not a positive upbeat post. This post is keeping it real. To break things up, I've included some pictures from when the hubby was in firefighter school.

We've been on a bit of a roller coaster for the last couple of months. Back in January we got the call that the hubby was offered a job as a Firefighter/EMT in a semi-local county. To say that we were excited is an understatement. It took nearly a month from that initial phone call for all of the paperwork, fingerprinting, drug testing, etc. to clear before the hubby could actually start the new job. Meanwhile, his previous job was wonderful about working with him and getting him ready for the new job.

As the hubby's start date drew closer, I grew more and more nervous. Could I handle being the wife of a firefighter? Could I handle the long shifts? The potential danger the hubby would be finding himself in? Well, my anxiety didn't last too long...

The training program that the hubby had started was 10 weeks long. Considering what we've heard from other people who graduated with the hubby, 10 weeks is a pretty long training program. Most in our area seem to be only 3-5 weeks. Granted, this training would also provide additional certifications (free of charge!) that other counties in our area just don't offer.

But probably the biggest shocker was the fact that this training was being run military style. Boot camp style. Not at all what the hubby had invisioned. Sure, he knew there would be physical training as part of the 10 week program. Sure, he knew it'd be tough - he'd been warned - but he didn't know just how tough it was going to be. He thought his schooling had fully prepared him for what he was about to walk into. Unfortunately, he was wrong...

Half way through the second week, the hubby was ready to call it quits. He was miserable. I got a call from him one night asking me to make the hour long trip to Orlando to discuss the options that were being given to him.

Let me back track a little bit... About 2 years after high school, and right before he enrolled in the firefighter program, the hubby's back had been giving him problems. It bothered him enough that he went and saw a specialist. The results? Not one, but two herniated discs in his lumbar spine. Although the doctor was hesitant, he gave the hubby the green light to proceed with firefighter schooling. However, he gave the hubby very wise advice, "You're only given one back in your life. We can't replace it like we can hips and knees. My advice? Try to avoid back surgery as long as possible - as in not until you're at least 60."

Why do I bring that up? Well, something that the hubby had to do during training really upset his back. He went to them the next day and told them about the problem, and they put him on temporary light duty. However, they said that he couldn't stay on that forever and that they were going to treat him the same as everyone else regardless of his back problems. Fair enough. You can't fault them for that - they're just doing their job.

He tried to tell them that day that he didn't think he'd make it through the program and he wanted to quit then. They asked him if he had spoken to me about it. We had had a couple of text messages back and forth during his lunch, but nothing in-depth. They suggested that he sleep on it, talk it over with me, and then let them know his decision the next day. I have to say, for all the hate I was feeling for these people after putting my hubby through hell, I totally respected them for that.

So I came home after work, packed an overnight bag, left extra food out for the cats, and headed off to Orlando. We went out to dinner and walked around Cranes Roost in Altamonte Springs. We talked - a lot - about the options and consequences of each option.

After a couple hours of talking everything through, we ultimately came to the decision that the hubby needed to quit this new job. Quit a job that he'd worked many years for. A job that we had been praying would come.

Why? A couple reasons...

1. As a firefighter, part of your job is to save lives. If the hubby's back were to go out while he was trying to rescue someone from a burning building, he risks not being able to save that person.
• To expand further, he'd be risking the life of his partner who went into the burning building with him.
• But, the biggest risk, is that if his back did go out during a call, he'd be risking his own life. Sure, every firefighter is risking their lives. But, typically, these guys/gals have stronger backs and muscles with a much smaller risk of something like that happening.
2. Even if we look past that scenario, if the hubby tore up his back at a young age, that means surgery.
• That means a lot of money spent on medical costs.
• That also means that the hubby could potentially be limited on what jobs he can apply for in the future - could mean a much smaller salary.
• And, surgery means that he wouldn't be able to be the "dad" he wants to be to our future kids (no, I'm not pregnant). When the hubby was young, his dad had back surgery, and he remembers what it was like to have a dad that was limited on what he could and could not do. He wants to prevent that at all costs.

We both wish we had forseen all of this prior to the hubby quitting his previous job. Heck, we wish that we had forseen this before the hubby had started schooling for this career. Yes, we know what the specialist advised; but we also figured that he could at least get quite a few years on the force before having to leave due to a back problem.

We keep telling ourselves that there had to be a reason for all of this. The hubby went through  firefighter schooling for a reason. We waited nearly two years for the first job offer for a reason. The hubby's back failed him for a reason. Even though we feel at times like all the hardwork and effort were for nothing, we trust that there is a bigger picture that we just don't understand yet.

So where does that leave us?

Well, the hubby has been out of work for the past two weeks. He searched for jobs in our area that his EMT certification qualified him for. But none of our local hospitals are currently hiring.

The position at his old job has already been filled, so that isn't an option. However, the hubby called his old boss when he started to worry that he wasn't going to make it through the program, and she said she would try to work something out for him if he decided to go that route. Let me just tell you, that woman is amazing! She had been creating a new IT position, and agreed to make the job description fit the hubby's qualifications (considering he doesn't have any experience in IT besides his pure curiosity, its not an easy task). The only problem? It's going to take a while for the hospital beauracracy to approve everything.

We were told that it could be weeks or it could be months before the hospital approves not only the new position, but approves the hubby's application for that position. To wait that long for a paycheck isn't something that we can afford. But again, the hubby's boss came the rescue! She talked the hospital into bringing the hubby in as a "pool" employee. He'd get paid less than what he was previously making, because technically "pool" is code for "part-time," but his boss has guaranteed he'd work 40 hours/week. But, it would keep us afloat money-wise until the IT position opened up.

It's not the ideal situation, but we're not going to complain. It's a job. It's something. And it has the potential for higher pay and a new career. Plus, the boss has really pulled some strings to make this all happen. We're just keeping our fingers crossed that the "pool" position isn't going to last too long.

So that's where we are right now. For a while we felt like we were in limbo. But now the dust seems to be settling and things seem to be calming down. On the plus side, I don't have to worry about all the stresses that come along with being the wife of a firefighter. But, I never imagined that that would mean the hubby losing out on his dream job.

Slowly Sinking In

As of this Monday, I will no longer be just a wife. I will be the wife of a firefighter.

Just typing that makes me stop and take a deep breath. And the closer Monday gets, the more anxiety I feel. I think after seeing him bring home a bunch of his gear last week and watching him try it all on made the fact that this is all happening sink in a little faster.

Growing up I never thought I would be the wife of someone who put their life on the line. Military. Police. Firefighter. When the hubby and I met, none of those jobs were even being discussed as part of his future plans. It's not that I don't appreciate the job that these men and women do. But I know me. And I know that I don't handle the unknown, or unpredictability, well when it comes to those jobs. I'm what some might call a worry wart.

But after career Plan A failed (you can read more about that journey here), Plan B turned into becoming a Firefighter/EMT. But at this point, I was head over heels in love with the guy and that wasn't going to change just because he was changing his career goals.

I mean, look at that face. Can you blame me??

I would be lying if I said that I'm not freaking out a little bit about everything that is about to change. Our work schedules. Our sleep schedules. Our relationship. My sanity.

For the next 10 weeks, I'll only be able to see my husband on the weekends. And that's as long as he doesn't get scheduled for a shift on a Saturday. Sure, we have Skype, but it's just not the same. I hated the last year when we lived so far away from each other. And I'm dreading having to go through it all again.

But I think what scares me the most is the nature of his job. I don't think I really need to explain too much. Fire. Structure fires. Falling objects. Brush fires. Car accidents. Death. Sick people. Crazy people. Long hours. Stress.

And I don't know what scares me more. The dangerous situations he's going to find himself in. Or the fact that, as hard as he tries not to, he'll inevitably bring some of it home with him. And I, as his wife, must learn to handle that.

I will be there for him. Not out of duty. Not because it's what is expected of me. But because that's what you do when you love someone.

But I'm not naive. It's not going to be easy. By any means. I know this next year will be full of hurdles. As much as I'm trying to prepare myself for what the future may hold, I know there is no way to predict it. What I do know is that we are not in control. God is the one who is in control, and he has a plan laid out for our marriage and our lives. And all I know is that I have to put my trust into that.

Sorry that this has been an bit of an emotional dump. But I need to get it off my chest. And I feel like this blog is that avenue for me to just get it all "out there." When I called this blog Figuring Out Life, I wasn't sure exactly what that would mean. But I'm starting to think that adjusting to life as the wife of a firefighter is going to play a big role in the future of this blog. I'm still going to keep up with journaling our adventures in home improvement and cooking. But I'm beginning to think that some of our every day adventures in learning to deal with everything that has been put before us will play a big role in where this blog is headed. But who knows... everything could change tomorrow. I'm still figuring it all out...

Busy, Busy, Busy

These next couple of weeks are going to be crazy busy around here. The fiance is moving in the last of his things tonight - which means he's officially moved in!! Then tomorrow we leave for Georgia to see my cousin Jacob get married. The next two weeks at school will be filled with test preparation and the actual testing. Also, it means that I need to get my large pile of papers graded and in the computer. And let me tell you...that pile is pretty large... And then the weekend before our wedding, we'll be back up in Georgia again for my other cousin Jaime's wedding (Jaime is Jacob's older brother).

Speaking of wedding, we're officially 6 weeks away! So with that comes last minute planning, purchasing, and organizing. Plus, all the showers & parties. I'm slowly starting to feel the stress of the wedding, but I think part of that is thanks to everything else that is piling on my plate. Everyone keeps telling me I'm too relaxed for a bride. Maybe I am. But I told myself a long time ago that I wouldn't let myself get all worked up over it. The point of a wedding is happiness and joy, and I think that being stressed over the whole thing ruins that. I don't want to be one of those bridezillas that you see on television. I want to enjoy my day. I've been waiting 6 long years for this day to finally come, and I'm going to enjoy it darn it!

So that's what will be going on here for the next couple of weeks. I'm hoping to do a couple of posts here & there, but I can't make any promises. It may or may not be a while until you hear from me again. So please excuse me if I'm a little MIA. :)

Overwhelmed

Photo Courtesy

So, I'm suppose to be finalizing grades in my grade book for report cards...but I am so not motivated. The more things that pile onto my proverbial plate, the more stressed I become, and the harder it becomes to feel motivated. I don't understand that equation, but nonetheless, that is my life. Not only are grades due tomorrow (not to mention, I have about 30 AP students waiting on an e-mail to tell them that they can go check grade book for the millionth time this weekend to see their final grade), but I also have to create a 100 question test for tomorrow, and a PowerPoint to introduce the Vietnam War. But instead, I sit here typing this post because I'd rather be doing anything but those other things.

This is one of the reasons why I put off creating a blog for so long: I never have time to really do anything other than school work. And right now, if I do happen to have a spare moment of time, I'm typically doing wedding stuff or relaxing with my fiance and taking my mind off of the craziness of my life. There are so many things that I need to post about: Part Two of my battle with fleas (spoiler alert: it didn't go as planned...), creating our save-the-dates on the cheap, the search for my wedding dress, my adventures in couponing, the pressures of being an AP teacher, the pressures of being an AP student, and my thoughts on the recent teacher merit-pay bill that passed. All in due time I guess.

I'm going to try and commit to a minimum of one blog post a week. Right now I think that is all I can manage with everything else going on. I'm hoping that come summer, I'll be able to post more frequently since I'll be out of school and looking for things to keep my mind occupied while everyone else works during the week. :)

Until next time....